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Emotional Abusers Hate Boundaries
People who abuse others don’t want to accept that they are at fault. They want you to believe that it’s your fault they hurt you.
Setting healthy boundaries after narcissistic abuse was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to figure out because during the relationship my boundaries were never accepted.
Abusers do not like being challenged.
It took me a long time to understand and articulate just how easily my abuser had dismantled the boundaries I did have. He was able to exploit every weak spot I had when it came to boundaries.
Before I was entangled with this man, I had boundaries, but I also had never fully understood what healthy boundaries were in relationships because I had been abandoned by my father at a young age. I had soaked up some confusing and contradictory ideas about boundaries.
So, even if you had strong boundaries or you thought you knew what healthy boundaries were, it can be difficult to rebuild your boundaries after abuse.
The narcissist destroyed your identity with all the gaslighting and projection of their own pathology. This left you feeling confused about what is appropriate in a relationship.