I Fell in Love With a Vulnerable Narcissist

Candace Ranee
4 min readNov 3, 2023

In stark contrast to the grandiose narcissist, a vulnerable narcissist has low self-esteem, is extremely self-conscious, tends to be insecure and sensitive to rejection, and requires constant validation from others.

Image by, Getty Images

I was still incredibly defenseless when I finally ended my relationship with a diagnosed sociopath. I was successfully no contact and believed I was never going to be fooled by another narcissist again.

I was one hundred percent wrong.

I was fooled by the most cunning type of narcissist I had ever known.

Beyond the showier and larger-than-life type of narcissist lurks a lesser-known and essentially more dangerous sub-species.

The vulnerable narcissist.

Not All Narcissists Are Grandious

Victimhood is the primary drive of a vulnerable narcissist. They are the more silent and subtle variation of narcissists and the most confusing and sinister.

Vulnerable narcissists will still seek status and validation, discard other people, feel entitlement, and lack empathy, but their methods are more concealed.

A vulnerable narcissist still has a grandiose sense of self-importance, entitlement, and need for admiration but they have more intense inner shame and are haunted by feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and hypersensitivity to criticism.

Folks with this type of narcissism tend to be more vulnerable to rejection and have difficulty forming meaningful relationships.

The vulnerable or covert narcissist has difficulty accepting criticism, even when it is constructive. It may not make sense but they actually become more defensive and aggressive than the grandiose narcissist when faced with any kind of feedback.

Of all the different types of narcissists, vulnerable narcissists tend to focus on themselves the most. Add to that, their pathological jealousy and need to control conversations, decisions, and activities; vulnerable narcissists are the most miserable type of narcissists.

And the most dangerous when injured.

The vulnerable narcissist will launch the most evil and relentless smear campaign…

--

--

Candace Ranee

Candace studied Sociology at Bowling Green State University. She is a writer and a DV Survivor