It’s All a Transaction With The Narcissist

It took me a long time to understand the transactional mindset of the narcissist. I remember the time my abuser went out and bought a vacuum without me and because I didn’t jump for joy when he came home he went into a full-blown narcissistic rage. His face contorted in fury as he screamed insults at me and told me what an ungrateful monster I was.

I was reeling from his attack and absolutely dumbfounded. All I had said was “Oh, you went out and bought a vacuum? I thought we were going to do that together.’

That was all it took to cause a narcissistic injury. At this point in our relationship, I had no idea that he was a narcissistic sociopath. I simply stated the truth. We had been discussing getting a new vacuum that week.

I was actually kind of miffed he did it without me. I wanted to be part of purchasing our vacuum. I also explained to him that procuring a household item is not considered a gift.

That only made him more furious.

What I didn’t realize at the time is he went to get the vacuum without me in hopes of getting praise and adoration. I guess unbeknownst to me I took the wind out of his narcissistic supply. He wanted to make sure I knew how amazing he was and that it was now my turn to repay him.