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Narcissists’ Refuse to Resolve Conflict
Toxic people like narcissists and sociopaths never tire of pointless arguments and emotional temper tantrums.
Narcissists do not want to resolve conflict. They love drama and thoroughly enjoy keeping you emotionally drained and exhausted. If you have had any experience with narcissists, you know that your needs are unimportant to them and that your purpose is to serve only their selfish interests.
One of those main interests is CONFLICT.
Narcissists do not have whole object relations. They are unable to comprehend that although you might argue with your partner and feel indignant or hurt, you also have warm feelings of love and compassion for them and you desire to resolve the problem to preserve the relationship.
You most likely do not even know what you have done wrong in the narcissists' eyes. However, whatever action, inaction, silence, or the simple fulfillment of your own needs, will have mortally wounded the narcissist. Their perceived injury is so deep, that all they can think about is causing you even more harm in retaliation.
Narcissists have ZERO capacity to understand that you may also be hurt.
They cannot have a positive emotional bond with anyone. If they are feeling angry, hurt, or disappointed with something they feel you did wrong, you immediately go into the “all bad” file in their brain.
Healthy people are able to feel emotionally connected to their partner even when they are upset and will seek to resolve it. They can move past the little things.
Not a narcissist! The negative feelings they have towards you at the moment are all they can focus on.
They exhibit “Jekyll and Hyde” behavior — one moment they are acting like everything is perfect and you are the best thing that ever happened to them, then suddenly something switches and the monster appears.
The reason they can switch so easily is that they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. This is also why they are able to move on so quickly from horrible arguments and pretend that they didn’t happen at all.
