Member-only story

The “No You!” Defense.

Narcissists use projection to restore their faux sense of self and to manage their feelings of shame and inadequacy.

Candace Ranee
5 min readMay 17, 2022
Image by, Gettyimages

When a narcissist is called on the carpet they will fight like a cornered animal. They cannot mentally handle having their faults and bad behavior questioned because they fear their false self being exposed. They will say “no you” are all of these things.

They will insist that they are honest, caring, and authentic and that you are none of those things and that, you are projecting, you are the liar, you are triggered, you are gaslighting, and you are narcissistic.

Welcome to the mind-f**ck of narcissistic projection.

Narcissists will never own their abusive behavior. Instead, they will play the victim and cry that you hurt them!! Instead of working through the issue with you, they will lie and paint you as the perpetrator and themselves as the victim.

Since a narcissist has no empathy they may often believe that you and others think and behave as they would in these situations. This delusion allows the narcissist, in their own mind, to accuse you of being the same as them. If they can claim you are “just as bad” then they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions.

--

--

Candace Ranee
Candace Ranee

Written by Candace Ranee

Candace studied Sociology at Bowling Green State University. She is a writer and a DV Survivor

Responses (3)