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A Narcissists Gift To You is Really a Gift to Themselves.

Candace Ranee
3 min readDec 13, 2021
Image by gettyimages

I dreaded receiving gifts of any kind from my former narcissistic sociopath partner. Gift-giving with him often resulted in a narcissistic injury followed by a narcissistic rage.

Why?

It was never about doing something nice for me and making me happy. It was all about giving him supply. My response to his “gift” was what he craved and I was NEVER quite thankful enough to suit him.

Giving to others is not something that narcissists do out of the goodness of their hearts. It is never intended to provide the other person with happiness but rather it’s a way to fulfill their own desire for significance.

Narcissists give gifts that keep your adoration and obedience to them going strong. They give gifts with an eye to maintaining control in the relationship.

It’s all a transaction.

In a healthy relationship, it’s normal to want to show affection for your partner with nice gifts, or to splurge on holidays. However, we don’t offer these gifts to arouse obligation or cultivate obedience from our partners.

Narcissists give out of fear and out of their need for you to continue to think that they are awesome.

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Candace Ranee
Candace Ranee

Written by Candace Ranee

Candace studied Sociology at Bowling Green State University. She is a writer and a DV Survivor

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